The crazy lady and contacts!

So yesterday I had an appointment to have an eye exam for contacts. I really hate wearing glasses... so I decided it was time. I went in there feeling like a "big girl", so excited... kinda like that special day when I was 12 and my mom let me get my ears pierced. Everything was great, took the exam, spoke with the doctor about pros/cons, etc. Then the horrible moment happened that an assistant would teach me how to put them in my eyes!!!

Well she showed me how to put them on, and I tried, and tried, and tried! After 40 minutes of jamming my finger on my eye, losing the contact somewhere on the table, and being extremely frustrated... I suggested that the assistant should go back to work. I would call her if I needed her help. I heard a gentleman come in to make an appointment, he wanted contacts for the first time. I screamed "DON'T DO IT", then after I heard the lady explain that the appointment needed to be an extra 30 min to train him to put the contacts on... I screamed again, "she's lying, it takes 2 hours". I could hear her laughing at me.

Okay, I'm now almost an hour into putting the contact in my right eye...still. The doctor comes out and is trying to encourage me. My eye lid feels like Rocky Balboa has punched me about 1o0 times. I think I've ripped at least 1/2 of my eye lashes off. I'm frustrated, the assistant is frustrated, and the doctor is frustrated. So I beg and convince the doctor to do lasik surgery that afternoon, because it would be faster than me getting the contacts in. No such luck. She finally put a "cheater" drop in my eye. I think it was super glue. She only offered to put it in the one eye however. She said it will suck the contact to your eye. Sure enough it went in. Okay... now the left eye! Well, needless to say 1 hour 20 minutes, I got 2 contacts in 2 eyes! They explain how to take out and I think okay I can do this. They tell me to leave them in my eyes for 4 hours today.

Four hours later (at home, alone)... I'm trying to take them out. They won't come out. They are stuck to my eye. I feel I can't breathe as I try to pull them off. My eye can't breathe either. I go into a panic mode, I'm going to die. I'm going to be like Helen Keller with only 1/10 of her smarts. I'll never make it in the world. I'm going to be blind, because I will never be able to take them off! I try for a good 40 minutes to take them off. I'm worried now they have been in my eyes 4 hours, 40 minutes. Is that bad? I worried! Scared! I don't feel like a "big girl" anymore. I'm thinking that I maybe should call 911... maybe they can take the contacts out! I take a deep breath and decide I need to get control! I go for it, and decide I will drag them out into the inside corner of my eye. IT COMES OUT! I do the other side, it comes out too! Then for the next 8 hours my eyes hurt like they are scratched. My eye lids look puffy.

Day 2... I'm going to meet my friends for lunch. I give myself an extra 30 minutes to get ready to put the contacts on, which really was NOT enough time. I needed 50 minutes to put them on. I kept thinking... it's in!!! not on my finger, then I'd look in the mirror and see this rubber blob stuck to my 7 little eye lashes (the only ones left from yesterday). I'd get all sad, thinking... it's not in!

Well, it's now time to take them out AGAIN. I may need a good psychologist by the end of this week.

I'm thinking I'll ditch the contacts and buy a pair of really cute shoes!!! Nice shoes always make a woman feel pretty!